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      當前位置:主頁 > 作文 > 高考作文 > 高考話題作文 >

      2017高考話題作文:集體成功,榮譽共享

      發布時間:2019-01-23 09:25 | 作者:美文在線 | 來源:未知 | 瀏覽: 次|類別:高考話題作文

        閱讀下面的材料,根據要求寫一篇不少于800字的文章。(60分)
        某企業舉辦創意設計大賽,大學生小云經過反復醞釀,確定了創意主題和設計方案,并邀請小宏、小騰兩位同學參與相關事務。最終,小云領銜設計的參賽作品榮獲了特等獎,獲得3萬元高額獎金。
        某報記者就獎金分配問題采訪了他們。小云認為榮譽是三人集體合作的結果,表示要一起協商,合理分配獎金;小宏已決定把自己的那部分獎金讓給小騰,幫助小騰緩解家庭的經濟壓力;而小騰則建議大家把獎金都拿出來,設立創新驅動基金,以便鼓勵更多同學參與創新活動。
        對于三人的不同想法,如果你是老師、企業家或家長,你傾向于哪一種?請綜合材料內容及含意作文,體現你的思考與選擇。
        例文:
        集體成功,榮譽共享
        近日,在企業舉辦的創意設計大賽中,以大學生小云為創意設計核心,以小宏、小騰為輔助的創作團隊榮獲了特等獎,獲得了萬元獎金。在如何分配獎金的問題上,三人有各自不同的見解。(開頭概述全面而簡潔)
        作為一名老師(寫作身份代入很自然),我認為,小宏與小騰的想法都有值得贊許的地方,可以看出兩名學生身上的閃光點。小宏決定將自己的獎金讓給小騰,幫助他緩解家庭經濟壓力,這是朋友之間深厚的友誼;小騰則決定將大家的獎勵都拿出來設立基金,給更多人創新機會,這是一種大愛。
        也許,小宏同學的善意也許不會為小騰所接受,況且區區獎金也無法使他的家庭有明顯改善,而小騰同學的想法是“舍小家為大家”,沒有顧及同伴的想法。
        所以,我認為,集體成功,榮譽應該由成員共同協商,小云的想法就十分妥當。(表態鮮明,觀點明確)
        在榮譽的背后,是小云的智慧,是小宏與小騰的辛勞,是三個人為之共同付出的汗水,三個人的攜手鑄就了成功,如若缺少其中之一,則可能無緣榮譽,無緣獎金,更無緣談及分配問題。三個人的團結合作好比舊時會打更的大鐘,鐘聲在十二點準時打響,清幽、宏亮。當你透過表面向里看,則是許多齒輪共同的運作,或大或小,但缺一不可。(排比、比喻用得恰當,增色添亮點。)
        作為一名老師,我認為小云的思想難能可貴,他沒有說平均的分配或按照貢獻參與分配,而是說與小宏小騰協商分配,這樣不僅體現了他對同學的關切與尊重,更體現了他為人處事的大度、得體。按理說,作為一個團隊的領導核心,他有權支配發展成果,也有權得到獎金中的大部分,但是他并沒有這樣做,在參與比賽時三人團結合作,共同協商,善始善終,對朋友抱以尊重,對團隊抱以感恩,在高額獎金面前仍然顧及團隊及成員的利益。(本段說理很得體。)
        獎金是在三個人的共同努力下獲得的。合作下的成果應由全體成員共同商議,他們可以分配個人獲得的獎金的比例,然后再用自己所得的部分做自己想做的事,分配后的獎金就成為他們的私有財產。其用途與他人不大相干。或者他們可以共同協議獎金的去處,或是幫助某一朋友,或是為更多的學生提供創新機會,但是前提是三人共商,因為獎金是他們的共同成果,每個人都有一定的支配權利。
        在集體榮譽的背后,是三個人的共同參與,每個人都有一定的支配權,而分配結果要共同商議,才能不忘“集體”的初心。而在我教書生涯中,小云同學不僅有創新的智慧,更有獎金分配面前的大器,所以我認同他的觀點——集體成功,榮譽共享。(再次強調觀點,回扣前文。)
        點評
        文章有幾個亮點:第一,就事論事,對材料內部人與人、觀點與觀點之間的關系辨析得很清楚,沒有顧此失彼;第二,在綜合材料內容及含意作文,在“隱形比較”中體現自己的思考與選擇,基本沒有“閑扯”的題外話。第三,寫作“身份代入”很自然。還有上升空間。
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